UGLY WHEELS AND BAD TASTE: TRANSPORTATION IN THE MODERN WORLD

The car you drive is like the clothes you wear;  it says a lot about you.  While the general public’s love affair with the automobile is nothing new, past generations had the good fortune of being car buyers during the heyday of such legendary classics as the 57 Thunderbird,  66 Mustang,  1960 Cadillac Eldorado,  or the 1967 Corvette Stingray, to name a few.    Unfortunately, attractive styling in automobile design is something that went the way of the dinosaur many years ago.   Today, consumers plop down more than three times the new list price of one of those classics to buy one of today’s many styleless ugly vehicles.  I’m amazed every time I see a new car commercial for some ugly new generic vehicle in which hired actors gawk and fawn over a completely unappealing, unattractive, ugly car in an attempt to “convince” the public that the car is irresistibly desirable.   And the nauseating result is people with REALLY bad taste actually go out and buy these ugly hunks of crap!  The following is only a partial list of the most ugly vehicles on the roadways today.

mitsubishi-lancer-2-lg MITSUBISHI LANCER.   Yep, if you make enough goofy TV commercials with young actors getting  excited  over this supposedly “sporty” 4 door compact as if it were a Ferrari, then sure enough,  young car buyers will actually believe that it IS  “sporty”!  In reality,  this ugly,  boxy, very average looking blob of metal is anything  BUT sporty.   Classic car enthusiasts get nauseous just looking at it.

chevrolet-avalancheCHEVY AVALANCHE.   All  SUV’s and trucks are butt ugly, but this ridiculous looking hunk of crap is the epitome of ugly.  This  machine should be in the dictionary as the definition of ugly.  How can anyone look at this thing and say “duh, I’ll pay 30 grand for that”?.

dodge-charger-10

DODGE CHARGER.  This  attempt to re-introduce a muscle car classic is one of the most pathetic examples of today’s style challenged era.  The original Charger was a sleek,  sexy,  rocket shaped 2 door sport coupe,  NOT a bulky, square,  ugly,  boxy,  4 door hunk of non- sporty crap!  Even the deluxe  R/T model is a joke,  despite its racing inspired paint scheme, rear spoiler,  and 20 inch rims.  Just plain ugly and stupid.

hummer-h2-7HUMMER.  Two words sum up this vehicle perfectly: Ugly and stupid.  And two words sum up the people who want to own one:  Bad taste.  Anyone who finds this pile of crap appealing should not be allowed to vote, buy recorded music, or do anything else that requires good taste and good judgment.  And no, the giant, cheesy chrome rims DO NOT make this joke any more attractive, “sporty”, or appealing.   S-T-U-P-I-D.

2008_toyota_corolla_leTOYOTA COROLLA.  Yeah, its a “sensible” car.  People who want economical affordability flock to car lots to buy not only this bland, styleless, boring vehicle, but approximately one zillion other similar looking bland, boring “sensible” cars just like it.  Everywhere you go these days,  “sensible”, ugly,  unattractive, bland,  boring  cars like the Corolla infest the roadways, driven by people who just don’t realize (or worse,  just don’t care) that for about the same money they could’ve actually purchased something that looks good.  What’s worse is the fact that while drivers of truly beautiful machines like Corvettes are required to pay outrageous insurance rates, all based on the assumption that a racy sports car means speeding and accidents,  it is always,  I repeat,  ALWAYS cars like the Corolla that I see piled up in intersections every time I drive past an accident scene!   And usually,  it’s an SUV who has collided with them!  I have yet to witness two Corvettes in a deadly bumper embrace ANYWHERE!   In fact,  I have NEVER,  EVER seen a Corvette wrecked along the road in my entire life!  Always the “sensible” drivers in their silly little  “safe” 4 cylinder cars who don’t seem to know the difference between green and red, and yet pay  lower insurance rates because,  hey, they drive a ” safe, sensible car”, right?   Excuse me while I puke!

2008_chevyPICK UP TRUCKS (all of ’em!) No list of stupid looking vehicles would be complete without including the “Redneck Cadillac” itself, the pick up truck.   Pick ups enjoyed surging sales numbers over the last two decades,  coinciding precisely with the increased popularity of country music and the plummeting  I.Q.  of the American public over the same period.  Hmmm,  coincidence?  I’ve lost count of how many “Touch my truck and I’ll shoot” bumper stickers I’ve seen over the years, and the fact that most (if not all) pick up drivers are staunch conservatives goes without saying.  The most ridiculous trend of late is the “sporting up”  of pick ups with hood scoops, chrome rims, rear spoilers,  and other assorted racing accessories.   IT’S A TRUCK,  YOU MORONS!  I don’t care how fast it will go,  IT’S A FRIGGIN’ TRUCK AND IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS!!  Also, it seems to be a scientific fact that pick ups will not run properly unless the driver is wearing a baseball cap, either frontwards  or backwards.  This important discovery was apparently  made by rednecks many decades ago, which explains why nearly every goofball you see driving a pick up is wearing a cap.  Either that or the cap is necessary to hold the driver’s pea sized brain in place.  Whatever the case,  pick ups have one purpose, and one purpose only, and that is to haul things.  It’s a work vehicle.   It’s not a Cadillac,  it’s not a hot rod,   and it sure as hell does not make it’s driver more “manly” , “macho”, or the king of the road.   Sorry rednecks.

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22 Responses to “UGLY WHEELS AND BAD TASTE: TRANSPORTATION IN THE MODERN WORLD”


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  2. 2 Eric January 10, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    Glad it’s your opinion. And it sucks. The Chevrolet Avalanche is a great SUV/Pickup. Now there are better cars than the Avalanche for sure, but the Avalanche was made for more of an aggressive look although not as great compared to other trucks like Dodge and Ford. I gotta admit it’s not classy and honestly I don’t know who’d drive it, but I think Chevrolet should be proud of it and there is no way this car is the definition of ugly. It’s aggressive but odd..

  3. 3 xscorpionx January 12, 2010 at 4:07 am

    I don’t see “Aggressive” when I look at an Avalanche. I see a boxy, clumsy looking truck with NO appealing design features whatsoever. I see more appeal in Dodge and Chevy pickups. But personally, I hate ALL trucks. Back in the day, the only people who found trucks useful or “appealing” were construction workers and rednecks (same difference, actually.) Unfortunately, America has become “Redneck Nation”, with a lot of young guys actually WANTING to drive pickups instead of cars! Un- effing- believable! Any dude who looks at a truck and says “wow, I want that! It’s so cool!” has crap for taste! Stupid rednecks.

  4. 4 Lacey January 24, 2010 at 1:24 am

    Um, how about some cars that you DO think are aesthetically pleasing, since just about everything seems to look like crap to you?

  5. 5 xscorpionx February 2, 2010 at 8:14 am

    Um, Lacy, if you had read the ENTIRE post before replying you would have noticed that I mention several cars that not only I find aesthetically pleasing, but which are regarded by enthusiasts to have set the standard for what beautifully designed cars SHOULD be. The ’57 Ford Thunderbird and the ’67 Corvette are two, and Ford’s recently re-born version of the T-bird, along with Corvette and the Jaguar XK8, are some more contemporary attractive cars. You see, as a long time classic car enthusiast, the problem I have is with the general public’s apparent lack of good taste concerning the vehicles I listed. The new Charger is ugly, Hummers are ridiculous, and pick up owners are clueless. Driving one of the ugly cars or trucks on my list is like wearing a sign that says “I have REALLY bad taste”. But, I can only assume that you yourself must drive an ugly vehicle, since you missed that point completely when reading my original post. You have my condolances.

  6. 6 Ru55ell February 4, 2010 at 2:46 am

    You are missing Subaru’s (WRX). It is by far the ugliest car in the road with an exception of a 2 door model no longer made. The company has betrayed its loyal customers by refacing the car every single year. Im guessing that the design people back in Japan are bipolar. I agree the corolla is the blandest car out there. Its so boring to look at it makes me vomit in my mouth. The worst part is that some teenagers are stuck with it and fail at their attempt to make it look like a cool “import tuner”. And yes the all mighty pick up trucks. If you need a hard working truck its ok to own one but lately ive noticed that every single american regardless of their job industry owns one. It seems that even grandma drives a pick up truck now a days with huge tires and raised suspension (red neck’s :/)

  7. 7 xscorpionx February 4, 2010 at 6:20 am

    I couldn’t agree with you more Ru55ell! The Subaru is butt UGLY! And your take on the current infestation of pick up truck owners is right on! I salute you sir for your obvious keen eye and standards of taste!!!

  8. 8 asdf October 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    The lancer is hands down one of the most fun cars ive ever had, and your comparison with “classic driver” tastes is heavily biased, and to top it off, you seem to imply that every car enthusiast should drive a 60-70s era muscle car. Thats stupid, I love cars and thats WHY I bought a lancer, and a forte coup. They may be cheaper, and less powerful- But at least I wont get stranded on my way from work every other month. BTW what car(s) do you drive that give you such a repulsive demeanor towards anything not less than thirty years old?

  9. 9 asdf October 27, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    And a small Post Note:
    the reason those people get excited about the lancer is because, if you had done any GOOD research and not let ur bias get in the way, the stock EVO lancer has been known to be able to hold its own against any stock muscle car today. 300+ hp isnt that bad. Neither is 17/23 mpg.

  10. 10 wow November 11, 2010 at 1:44 am

    hey xscorpionx,

    I think your first responder might have been on the design team of the Avalanche. heh heh. Wow. He sucks worse than the truck.

  11. 11 One More January 5, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    How old are you asshole??? 13?

  12. 12 iceman636 June 6, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    umm… HOW COULD YOU THINK THE MITSUBISHI LANCER makes you feel “nauseous”. All the cars there are perfectly fine! these are some of the cars that is some of the ugliest, Pontiac Aztec, GeeWhiz,Volkswagon Thing, Tata Nano,Chevrolet HHR and the AMC Pacer Wagon.

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  16. 16 Jaden August 21, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    The Avalanche is one of the stupidest and ugliest vehicles ever made.
    They were special made for people that have extreme identity complexes and borderline psycho tendencies hiding behind a veneer the most fragile egotism. One of the worst cars of all linear time.

  17. 17 Manny October 26, 2015 at 5:39 am

    To define ugly look no further at the C7 Corvette. Ironically the C7 was penned by none other than the stylistically deficient fellow who created the Chevy Avalance and the Pontiac Aztek.

    An honorable mention of ugly cars goes to the Dodge Challenger, Chevy Camaro and Ford Flex. Favorites of gang-bangers and old men.

    Some of the best looking vehicles on the road today are imports and fullsize trucks are pretty nice looking nowadays.

    PS

    The Mistubishi Lancer is a nice looking automobile. It has clean neutral styling which affords it a timeless appeal.

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  1. 1 Car, Motor, Tuning, Tuned, Bike, Free Wallpapers » Blog Archive » UGLY WHEELS AND BAD TASTE: TRANSPORTATION IN THE MODERN WORLD Trackback on April 16, 2009 at 1:00 am
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