Archive for the 'Politics' Category

GLENN BECK: POSSIBLY THE MOST PATHETIC RIGHT WINGER OF ALL TIME.

In the annals of conservatism there have been many pathetic and  narrow-minded right-wing wackos, but perhaps none as pathetic as Glenn “Blank Eyes” Beck.   Over the past few years,  Blank Eyes Beck has risen from near obscurity to become a leading voice in right-wing delusionology, with his own show on Fix News and several books on the market.  A parody of his latest literary effort is pictured here.   Yes,  while twisted little whiney pricks like Bill “Bozo” O’Reilly and Sean “The Idiot” Hannity at least attempt to appear logical,  Blank Eyes Beck displays no logical reasoning or objectivity whatsoever!    Like most conservative windbags,  Beck makes his total lack of compassion, sympathy, and empathy for others transparently obvious.   You see,  Beck promotes the basic mindset of conservatism, which is the idea that if people do not live their lives according to how conservatives DICTATE they should live their lives, then they do not deserve success, or health care, or medicare, or funding for education,  or social security,  or anything that Beck categorizes as not having been “earned”.   Right wing wackos like Beck are simply so narrow-minded that they truly believe themselves to be the judge, jury, and executioner of  all mankind.   But while Blank Eyes Beck is quickly establishing himself as top fly in the garbage bucket known as conservatism,  he has a considerable way yet to go before he surpasses the king moth of right wingdom; Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh.   Yes, only time will tell if Glenn “Blank Eyes” Beck will take conservatism to new depths of stupidity and inherit the crown from Limbaugh, the iconic slob of right-wing fanaticism.   May heaven help us all.

HOW TO SPOT A REPUBLICAN

Different people look differently.   It’s no secret that appearances say a lot.  If someone is happy or sad,  it obviously shows in their faces, as well as their demeanor.

I work in a unique industry where I come in contact with many different  people on a daily basis, and due to the nature of the business, political views usually get expressed.   This being the case,  I have become somewhat adept at identifying a person’s political affiliation before they even verbally reveal it,  just from their appearance.   Now admittedly, this is a generality, but overall it seems to hold true.

HOW TO SPOT A REPUBLICAN

What does a Republican look and sound like?   Hmmm, well,  this can be broken into two separate categories:  younger Republicans, and older Republicans.   They both share the same ideology, and there are very similar physical traits, but with slight variances.

A)  OLDER REPUBLICANS.   This is someone, male or female,  middle-aged to elderly.   Generally, this person looks and sounds a bit cranky all of the time.  Where males are concerned, they are usually military veterans, and look as though a broomstick was stuck up their butt and never removed.   They give off a “I don’t trust ANYBODY” vibe, and usually have barbed wire voices that have a distinctive sour tone.  It’s always very obvious that this person has NEVER been “cool”, nor has any knowledge of, or interest in being cool whatsoever!   Nope, they believe everyone should be a cranky old distrustful turd like them, and anyone who isn’t simply  MUST be a dreaded liberal socialist  Democrat.  For the females, it’s basically the same thing, except they have boobs, which they are usually ashamed of.   Older Republican females give off a submissive vibe,  being trained from birth to yield authority to the dominant Republican male of the household.  After all,  it’s what the Bible teaches.

B) YOUNGER REPUBLICANS.   Male or female, younger Republicans come across as more self-assured, and less distrusting than their older counterparts.  They have a ” screwing someone over is the natural way of things” air about them.  They’ve determined that all of their enemies, (i.e. evil liberals) will all soon be destroyed, and they will inherit the earth.  They suffer from a false sense of security that many times leads them to recklessly blurt out their most narrow-minded conservative viewpoints with the assumption that everyone will automatically agree with them!  Isn’t everyone a conservative Republican??   They are somewhat harder to spot than older Republicans because they appear to blend in with a more contemporary appearance and demeanor, but make no mistake, they can be identified.  All Republicans, I repeat ALL,  young or old, share one common trait that is unmistakable;  the same glazed over, empty blank stare in their eyes.  Unmistakable!   Now, before you accuse me of exaggerated stereotyping,  let me point out that it is a clinical fact that people who suffer from delusional mental disorders almost always display a very distinctive look in their eyes.  And there is no one  more delusional than a Republican!!   I rest my case!

EXCLUSIVE! SEAN HANNITY NUDE!

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GEORGE W. BUSH RETURNS TO HIS NATURAL HABITAT

jackass-georgeYes, Jackass George has returned to his home state of Texas,  where he received a warm hero’s welcome by the many subhuman redneck primates who reside there.  Apparently, they all enjoyed the eight years of his systematic dismantling of America.   Good ol’ Jackass will now spend his time grazing on his ranch in Crawford, with his crosseyed mate Laura by his side.  Yes,  Jackass George is now just a private citizen,  with taxpayer supported security staff,  taxpayer supported health care, and taxpayer supported retirement.  All the little luxuries of life that Republicans have always told Americans they cannot have, and should not want.  Yes, we are so lucky here in America to have hypocrites like Jackass George and the rest of the Republican party to lead us.  So lucky.

HYPOCRITE LIMBAUGH HOPES AMERICA FAILS!

It’s no secret Republican airbag Rush Limbaugh hates Democrats.  And Democrats hate Limbaugh in return.  Today on Limbaugh’s radio show, the conservative blowhard made headlines by openly saying that he “hopes Obama fails”.   This after all the warm and fuzzy commentary by all of the news media during the Obama inauguration about “one America”,  and the power of Obama to “unite” the country and work bi-partisan with Republicans.  

You see, because of people like Rush Limbaugh, there can never, and WILL never be “one America”.   Because conservatives always have, and always will view the world with a “Us versus Them” mentality.   It was the hallmark of the Bush administration’s approach to everything for the last eight years.  And it is the way conservatives WANT the world to be.  They WANT enemies at every turn.  Why?  So they can flex their muscles,  declare the opposition “evil”,  and then feel self righteously “holy” by launching a war like campaign to destroy the perceived “evil”, thereby proving to themselves  (and God) that they are the protectors of all that is “right”.  My how their inflated egos must tickle with joy every time they indulge in such a fantasy.  

So Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh openly states that he hopes Barack Obama, the legally and lawfully elected president of  The United States of America,  Limbaugh’s own home country, fails.   Does anyone happen to remember the conservative outrage that was vented over the claim that ANY American who protested against the war in Irag was “hoping that America fails”?   Republican airbags like Sean “The Idiot”  Hannity railed daily, expressing outrage that ANY American would be so “evil” as to actually HOPE that America would fail!  Well,  let’s see if conservative outrage targets Limbaugh in the same manner, because when Limbaugh says that he hopes Barack Obama fails,  he is essentially saying the same thing;  that he hopes America fails! 

Something tells me windbags like Hannity,  Bill “Bozo” O’ Reilly, and the myriad other conservative idiots out there will most likely brush over Limbaugh’s comment without mention.  Why?  Because in actuality, they are ALL hoping that Obama fails, or at least screws up in some manner.  Because to conservatives there isn’t,  and can never be, “one America”.  One America would mean that they might not have the power to crush the “evil” opposition that disagrees with their agenda.  One America would mean that people who they do not believe should be allowed to be heard, might actually be able to exercise their “freedom of speech”.  One America would mean that all of those in the middle class who work to enrich and empower the wealthiest corporations might actually be entitled to “handouts”, otherwise known as benefits.  Yes,  if Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh and other conservative hypocrites have their way, there will never be “one America”.

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL DENNIS MILLER TO SHUT THE HELL UP?

dennis-millerOnce hip Saturday Night Live cast member Dennis Miller now spends a majority of his time making the rounds on conservative talk shows, spewing his weak attempt at witty, conservative infested political commentary .  Miller frequently appears on Bill “Bozo” O’Reilly, and after about 15 seconds of listening to him blow hot air I’m wishing someone would surgically remove his whiny, annoying vocal chords.  It’s obvious that when Miller is given a written script by professional comedy writers he can pull off a reasonably competent performance,  but when left to his own creative urges he becomes a complete babbling idiot!  Of course, the O’Reilly show is the perfect sewer for someone of Miller’s weak talents to wallow in, and it’s no surprise that he’s found a friend in Bozo Bill.  After all,  Miller failed miserably on Monday Night Football several years ago, and he hasn’t had a successful movie or TV show to speak of EVER.  O’Reilly’s bombastic, intelligence challenged style is a perfect match for Miller’s pea sized brain.  So here’s one for ya Denny boy, written just for you babe; The unequaled ineloquence of your dissertations is about as impressive as a Pygmy trying to re-invent the concept of cerebral magnanimosity.  You stupid moron!

FOX NEWS GETS EVEN MORE UNFAIR AND UNBALANCED

Well, it’s official.  Glenn “Blank Eyes” Beck, the newest moron on the right wing block, is leaving CNN to join forces with the world’s largest collection of right wing morons at FOX news.  As if FOX doesn’t s-glenn-beck-largealready have enough right wing airbags as it is, heck, what’s one more, right?  I’m sure that even with the acquisition of Blank Eyes Beck, FOX loudmouths such as Sean “The Idiot” Hannity will continue to blow air about how FOX presents   “both sides” of the story.  Oh yeah,  let’s see,  they do    have left winger Alan Colmes, who gets run over more times than a dead pigeon, and they have…..well,…. they have Alan Colmes!  So the world’s most biased TV news network welcomes Glenn “Blank Eyes” Beck to their stuffy little, narrow minded,  arrogant,  ignorant,  one dimensional,  twisted,  unfair and unbalanced world.  I’m sure he’ll fit right in.

Recently, while appearing on the Greta Van Susteren show on FOX,  Blank Eyes Beck told the gut wrenching tale of an encounter he had at a fast food shop with a customer who recognized him, and began yelling and cursing at him in front of everyone in the shop,  saying something to the effect that it’s right wingers like him who are destroying America.  Beck, seemingly horrified by the event,  then said to Van Susteren “My God, is this what we’ve come to?”  Does Beck really believe that commentators like himself,  Sean “The Idiot” Hannity,  Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh, and all of the other rabble rousing, fear mongering, hate mongering conservative loudmouths out there can actually go on the airwaves everyday and spew nonsense without any backlash whatsoever from the public?  During this past presidential election, Beck and his conservative cohorts did their best to paint Barack Obama as an anti-American terrorist.  Where was his, and other conservatives outrage when Republican voters made threatening remarks like “Kill Obama”,  and “Bomb Obama” as a direct result of conservative commentator’s smear tactics?   For Beck to express outrage over confrontational remarks made to him at that fast food shop only goes to show that conservatives are fine with inciting potential violence against those they dislike,  but when it’s directed at them they are shaken and ask “My God, is this what we’ve come to?”  Yes Mr. Beck,  thanks to you and all of the other loudmouth conservative windbags out there,  this IS what we’ve come to.  I hope you enjoy reaping what you’ve sown.


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You're Just A Number

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"All the knowledge in the world is of no use to fools"
- EAGLES, Long Road Out Of Eden

If morons could fly, the skies over America would be pitch black!

The 3 lowest forms of life (in order of intelligence)

1. Bacteria
2. Rednecks
3. Republicans