Posts Tagged 'Republican idiots'

HOW TO SPOT A REPUBLICAN

Different people look differently.   It’s no secret that appearances say a lot.  If someone is happy or sad,  it obviously shows in their faces, as well as their demeanor.

I work in a unique industry where I come in contact with many different  people on a daily basis, and due to the nature of the business, political views usually get expressed.   This being the case,  I have become somewhat adept at identifying a person’s political affiliation before they even verbally reveal it,  just from their appearance.   Now admittedly, this is a generality, but overall it seems to hold true.

HOW TO SPOT A REPUBLICAN

What does a Republican look and sound like?   Hmmm, well,  this can be broken into two separate categories:  younger Republicans, and older Republicans.   They both share the same ideology, and there are very similar physical traits, but with slight variances.

A)  OLDER REPUBLICANS.   This is someone, male or female,  middle-aged to elderly.   Generally, this person looks and sounds a bit cranky all of the time.  Where males are concerned, they are usually military veterans, and look as though a broomstick was stuck up their butt and never removed.   They give off a “I don’t trust ANYBODY” vibe, and usually have barbed wire voices that have a distinctive sour tone.  It’s always very obvious that this person has NEVER been “cool”, nor has any knowledge of, or interest in being cool whatsoever!   Nope, they believe everyone should be a cranky old distrustful turd like them, and anyone who isn’t simply  MUST be a dreaded liberal socialist  Democrat.  For the females, it’s basically the same thing, except they have boobs, which they are usually ashamed of.   Older Republican females give off a submissive vibe,  being trained from birth to yield authority to the dominant Republican male of the household.  After all,  it’s what the Bible teaches.

B) YOUNGER REPUBLICANS.   Male or female, younger Republicans come across as more self-assured, and less distrusting than their older counterparts.  They have a ” screwing someone over is the natural way of things” air about them.  They’ve determined that all of their enemies, (i.e. evil liberals) will all soon be destroyed, and they will inherit the earth.  They suffer from a false sense of security that many times leads them to recklessly blurt out their most narrow-minded conservative viewpoints with the assumption that everyone will automatically agree with them!  Isn’t everyone a conservative Republican??   They are somewhat harder to spot than older Republicans because they appear to blend in with a more contemporary appearance and demeanor, but make no mistake, they can be identified.  All Republicans, I repeat ALL,  young or old, share one common trait that is unmistakable;  the same glazed over, empty blank stare in their eyes.  Unmistakable!   Now, before you accuse me of exaggerated stereotyping,  let me point out that it is a clinical fact that people who suffer from delusional mental disorders almost always display a very distinctive look in their eyes.  And there is no one  more delusional than a Republican!!   I rest my case!

HEY YA’LL, IT’S JOE REDNECK!

Hey there people, this here’s Joe Redneck speakin’.  Well, I’ll tell ya’ll straight out I voted for McCain in the election.  The reason is because them damn Democrats are all liberals, at least that’s what Rush Limbaugh and Fox news say.  And if those guys say it, it must be true.  I don’t know a lot about liberals except that they want to raise my taxes.  Hell, I’d rather have my tax dollars go to blowin’ up them damn middle easterners than payin’ for some lazy bum’s health insurance, or some dumb kid’s education.  Stupid liberals.  Look at me, I ain’t got no health insurance, and I never went to no college,  and I ain’t complainin’!  And I’ve voted Republican my whole life!  Plus all them damn liberals come from either the West coast or the East coast, so you know they’re up to no good.  The pastor at my church says they’re all possessed by demons anyway. That’s why I voted for Bush both times.  Yeah, he might have friends that are in big business and oil and all that, but he’s from Texas, and that makes him one of us.  And John McCain was a soldier.  He knows how important carryin’ a gun is.  That Sarah Palin sure can shoot an assault rifle! wooey!  When I saw her shootin’ that gun I knew McCain had picked the best person for the job right there.  I didn’t need to hear no more about none of them sissy issues and junk like that.  That sealed my vote!  To be honest, the idea of that other guy bein’ president just ain’t right.  He looks like a foreigner, and has a foreign name.  That just ain’t right.  Plus, Bill O’Reilly says he’s a dangerous liberal.  That’s good enough for me.  I don’t watch any other news channel but Fox because them other guys confuse me with all that liberal talk about stuff I don’t know nothin’ about like health care, social security, and the economy.  All I wanna know is which guy’s gonna kill all them damn foreigners, won’t take my money (at least not to help lazy people anyway), and will drill for enough oil so I can fill up my extended cab pick up.  And that’s John McCain.  Them Democrats are out to destroy the country anyway.  Sure, half the people in my neighborhood are laid off, and most of ’em are losing their homes, and the factories around here have all closed and moved overseas, and gas is so high I can’t afford to go huntin’ no more,  and my nephew got killed over in Irag,  and I think I might get laid off here too before long , and my daughter’s boy can’t get no more treatment ’cause they cut funding for the medical center, and she’s about to go bankrupt,  but hey, if them damn liberals get in they’ll ruin everything.  That’s what Rush Limbaugh says anyway.  And if Rush says it, it must be true.

FORGET GLOBAL WARMING!

WHY I HATE LIBERALS

lib·er·al  (lbr-l, lbrl)

adj.  

a. Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
b. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.
c. Of, relating to, or characteristic of liberalism.
(definition from The Free Dictionary.com)
Those damn libs!  With their progressive thinking and attempted reform of social injustice they have caused enormous problems in America.   By trying to implement the above described virtues into society they have created the very environment that has led to the empowerment of the lowest form of life on Earth: Republicans!   Because the average Joe Dumb American is too stupid to have a clue,  trying to bring about progress and change for the betterment of society is just too dangerous.  Mr. Joe Dumb will always be easy prey for Republican propaganda when confronted with the choice of progress or his own abuse and enslavement by right wing morons. Unfortunately, Mr. Dumb will always choose the latter. Damn, I hate those libs, damn!

RIDDLE ME THIS…

Q: What’s the difference between a Republican and a bull’s rear end?

A: The Republican spews out twice as much bullshit!


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Read It And Weep

You're Just A Number

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"All the knowledge in the world is of no use to fools"
- EAGLES, Long Road Out Of Eden

If morons could fly, the skies over America would be pitch black!

The 3 lowest forms of life (in order of intelligence)

1. Bacteria
2. Rednecks
3. Republicans