Posts Tagged 'Republicans'

GLENN BECK: POSSIBLY THE MOST PATHETIC RIGHT WINGER OF ALL TIME.

In the annals of conservatism there have been many pathetic and  narrow-minded right-wing wackos, but perhaps none as pathetic as Glenn “Blank Eyes” Beck.   Over the past few years,  Blank Eyes Beck has risen from near obscurity to become a leading voice in right-wing delusionology, with his own show on Fix News and several books on the market.  A parody of his latest literary effort is pictured here.   Yes,  while twisted little whiney pricks like Bill “Bozo” O’Reilly and Sean “The Idiot” Hannity at least attempt to appear logical,  Blank Eyes Beck displays no logical reasoning or objectivity whatsoever!    Like most conservative windbags,  Beck makes his total lack of compassion, sympathy, and empathy for others transparently obvious.   You see,  Beck promotes the basic mindset of conservatism, which is the idea that if people do not live their lives according to how conservatives DICTATE they should live their lives, then they do not deserve success, or health care, or medicare, or funding for education,  or social security,  or anything that Beck categorizes as not having been “earned”.   Right wing wackos like Beck are simply so narrow-minded that they truly believe themselves to be the judge, jury, and executioner of  all mankind.   But while Blank Eyes Beck is quickly establishing himself as top fly in the garbage bucket known as conservatism,  he has a considerable way yet to go before he surpasses the king moth of right wingdom; Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh.   Yes, only time will tell if Glenn “Blank Eyes” Beck will take conservatism to new depths of stupidity and inherit the crown from Limbaugh, the iconic slob of right-wing fanaticism.   May heaven help us all.

GEORGE W. BUSH RETURNS TO HIS NATURAL HABITAT

jackass-georgeYes, Jackass George has returned to his home state of Texas,  where he received a warm hero’s welcome by the many subhuman redneck primates who reside there.  Apparently, they all enjoyed the eight years of his systematic dismantling of America.   Good ol’ Jackass will now spend his time grazing on his ranch in Crawford, with his crosseyed mate Laura by his side.  Yes,  Jackass George is now just a private citizen,  with taxpayer supported security staff,  taxpayer supported health care, and taxpayer supported retirement.  All the little luxuries of life that Republicans have always told Americans they cannot have, and should not want.  Yes, we are so lucky here in America to have hypocrites like Jackass George and the rest of the Republican party to lead us.  So lucky.

HYPOCRITE LIMBAUGH HOPES AMERICA FAILS!

It’s no secret Republican airbag Rush Limbaugh hates Democrats.  And Democrats hate Limbaugh in return.  Today on Limbaugh’s radio show, the conservative blowhard made headlines by openly saying that he “hopes Obama fails”.   This after all the warm and fuzzy commentary by all of the news media during the Obama inauguration about “one America”,  and the power of Obama to “unite” the country and work bi-partisan with Republicans.  

You see, because of people like Rush Limbaugh, there can never, and WILL never be “one America”.   Because conservatives always have, and always will view the world with a “Us versus Them” mentality.   It was the hallmark of the Bush administration’s approach to everything for the last eight years.  And it is the way conservatives WANT the world to be.  They WANT enemies at every turn.  Why?  So they can flex their muscles,  declare the opposition “evil”,  and then feel self righteously “holy” by launching a war like campaign to destroy the perceived “evil”, thereby proving to themselves  (and God) that they are the protectors of all that is “right”.  My how their inflated egos must tickle with joy every time they indulge in such a fantasy.  

So Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh openly states that he hopes Barack Obama, the legally and lawfully elected president of  The United States of America,  Limbaugh’s own home country, fails.   Does anyone happen to remember the conservative outrage that was vented over the claim that ANY American who protested against the war in Irag was “hoping that America fails”?   Republican airbags like Sean “The Idiot”  Hannity railed daily, expressing outrage that ANY American would be so “evil” as to actually HOPE that America would fail!  Well,  let’s see if conservative outrage targets Limbaugh in the same manner, because when Limbaugh says that he hopes Barack Obama fails,  he is essentially saying the same thing;  that he hopes America fails! 

Something tells me windbags like Hannity,  Bill “Bozo” O’ Reilly, and the myriad other conservative idiots out there will most likely brush over Limbaugh’s comment without mention.  Why?  Because in actuality, they are ALL hoping that Obama fails, or at least screws up in some manner.  Because to conservatives there isn’t,  and can never be, “one America”.  One America would mean that they might not have the power to crush the “evil” opposition that disagrees with their agenda.  One America would mean that people who they do not believe should be allowed to be heard, might actually be able to exercise their “freedom of speech”.  One America would mean that all of those in the middle class who work to enrich and empower the wealthiest corporations might actually be entitled to “handouts”, otherwise known as benefits.  Yes,  if Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh and other conservative hypocrites have their way, there will never be “one America”.

ELECTION EXPOSES THE DUMBEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA

The 2008 presidential election will go down in history as an historical event,  with Barack Obama becoming the first African-American President of the United States.  But the election was, of course, about much more than just the first black candidate.  After eight years of rampant, corrupt, conservative style corporate politics under George W. Bush,  most in the downtrodden middle class knew it was time for a change of direction.  Republican John McCain,  who admitted to supporting Bush over 90% of the time,  was NOT the candidate of change, as he tried to sell himself,  but rather more of the same.  So on Tuesday, November 4, 2008,  the election returns began rolling in state by state.

Now this is where it gets interesting.  Even though John McCain, and his VP candidate Sarah Palin, had many fervently emotional supporters, who, despite the fact that another Republican administration would mean the almost total annihilation of the working class, were willingly stupid enough to vote Republican AGAIN,  Obama either won outright, or did very well even in traditional Republican territory where McCain finished ahead in the count.  That is, all except for four traditionally “red” states.  Yes,  while most of the population was  intelligent enough to be a part of what will go down as a milestone moment in American history, and while most Americans knew instinctively that it was time for a change of policy in Washington D.C., residents of the states of Wyoming,  Idaho,  Utah, and the good old Republican stronghold of Oklahoma,  went solidly and decisively for John McCain.  McCain’s average margin of victory in each of those four states was approximately 65% to 35%  over Obama.  The gap was closer even in John McCain’s home state of Arizona, as well as the state of Texas,  Bush’s home turf,  which usually goes Republican.  So apparently, a large majority of the residents of Wyoming,  Idaho,  Utah, and of course, Oklahoma felt that despite the fact their voting Republican twice for George W. Bush left the country in shambles and threatened their very livelihood,  they thought it was a good idea to elect another Republican, who supported Bush’s failed policies 90% of the time,  to finish the job!  Of course, it’s probably no coincidence that the four states in question have a history of being very, shall we say, Caucasian?  There’s little doubt that race played at least some role in the election returns from those four states.  So after the dust settled, and America took a giant step for progress, four states stood in stark resistance to the undeniable call for change;  Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, and of course, Oklahoma.  Four states that said, “No, we want Republicans to continue to choke us dry, and empower big corporations and oil companies, as they have for the last eight years.”

But not all of the blame for being the most stupid people in America can be placed solely on the residents of these four backward Republican voting states.  After all, they were just following orders.  The orders given them by right wing talk show Nazis’ such as Sean “The Idiot” Hannity and Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh,  who tried so desperately to influence the outcome with smear tactic propaganda about the “scary, radical, left wing, liberal, extremist, terrorist, Muslim, anti-American associations” of Barack Obama.  Planting that kind of propaganda into the heads of rednecks in those four states is like giving a book of matches to an arsonist.  And naturally, the voters in redneck America who were most susceptible to that kind of nonsense voted accordingly.

So congratulations to the backward, redneck Republican voters of Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, and last but not least, Oklahoma, a.k.a. “Republican H.Q.”.  They exercised their democratic rights, and let their voices be heard.  Now we here at The Scorpion’s Tail bestow upon them the fitting reward for their efforts, and hereby proclaim them THE DUMBEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA.

EXCLUSIVE: SARAH PALIN’S REACTION TO LOSS

palin-pig-2“Gosh darn it,  does this mean I have to go back to Alaska with Joe Sixpack? Gee whiz! I guess the next time I see old Vladimir Putin from my back porch, I’ll just wave and say “Lucky for you fella”.  And I’ll be lookin’ to read articles about the election in all my favorite newspapers and magazines tomorrow. Publications like, uh,…….like….gosh darn it!”

O’REILLY INTERROGATES OBAMA

 What would you call an interview in which the interviewer accuses the guest of malicious deception,  cuts off the guest before he can finish a sentence, and routinely refuses to acknowledge the guest’s talking points?  The word for it is “interrogation”.  That’s exactly what Fox news windbag Bill O’Reilly’s “interview” of Barack Obama resembled this past weekend.   Of course, O’Reilly likes to say that he simply asks tough, hard hitting questions of his “guests”, and that The O’Reilly Factor is a “no spin zone”.   Really?  I don’t recall O’Reilly EVER interrogating any Republicans in the same manner in which he “interviewed” Obama.   So the “no spin zone” is actually the “slanted and biased zone” in which O’Reilly decides who gets grilled and is made to look uncomfortable on national TV.  Amazingly,  O’Reilly and others at Fox news constantly refer to competing news networks as being  biased to the left,  which they then insinuate disqualifies those networks from having any credibility.  Yet,  Fox news apparently sees nothing wrong with being biased to the right,  which they refer to as “fair and balanced”.  At the end of the Obama interrogation, O’Reilly commented that the news staff at NBC must have “chapped lips” from kissing Obama’s butt.  Yet,  Fox news repeatedly airs glowing and patriotic portraits of John McCain with virtually no critical commentary whatsoever.  Ah yes,  the twisted logic of conservatives.  The simple fact is that O’Reilly is an ego maniac and a bully.  In almost every show, O’Reilly ends his interrogations by saying that he will let his “guest”   have the last word.  But before that person can finish having that last word,  O’Reilly, in typically fair and balanced conservative fashion,  talks over the guest speaker and cuts off any last word they would have had.  At the end of the Obama interrogation,  after all but accusing him of being an anti-American leftist communist,  O’Reilly suddenly adopted a jovial tone, and challenged Obama to a friendly game of one on one basketball.  Did Bozo Bill suddenly decide that he LIKED Obama after all?   Why would O’Reilly want to be sociable with someone whom he supposedly believes would undermine the country with subversive, leftist connections?   The answer is because Billyboy is an old pro.  He knew that Obama supporters, along with others in the media, would be accusing him of being harsh and unfair during the interrogation, so he used the oldest trick in the talk show book, which is to invite the brutalized “guest” to some sort of friendly social interaction afterward.  This way,  O’Reilly can say “See,  I’m not a hateful bully.  Hey, I even offered to play a friendly game of basketball with him.”  After the Obama segment ended,  O’Reilly was smiling from ear to ear like a pumpkin carved up for Halloween,  awash in the glow of having completed his mission of delivering the Democratic lamb to the conservative slaughter.  Is anyone really naive enough to believe that loyal viewers of The O’ Reilly Factor actually tuned in with open minds to hear what Obama had to say about anything?  Every regular viewer of The O’Reilly Factor hates Obama with a passion, and they tuned in with eager anticipation and joyous expectation that Bozo Bill would rip Obama to shreds once and for all.  When it was all over,  it didn’t matter whether or not Obama made any valid points about himself, any of the issues,  or even that he had the guts to agree to an “interview” that was nothing more than a thinly disguised ambush.  No,  O’Reilly and his narrow minded,   ignorant,  biased,  unfair and unbalanced conservative audience got what they came for; the chance to see Barack Obama squirm under the hot lights and glare of Bozo Bill and The O’Reilly Factor.  How fair, how balanced, and how patriotic!.

JUST ANOTHER CONSERVATIVE WINDBAG

CNN’s Glen Beck is the new blood in the long line of conservative talk show hosts who’s apparent mission is to carry on the Rush Limbaugh tradition of blowing hot air.  In fact, it is transparently obvious that Beck has been heavily influenced by Limbaugh, and is borrowing much from the blowhard’s style.  With his signature line “Cut the crap”, it’s pretty clear in watching him bellow and rant that Beck just loves the sound of his own voice,  but hey, what conservative doesn’t?  Beck employs the usual one dimensional view of the world that conservatives everywhere hold dear, and what he touts as common sense observation is nothing more than the typical narrow minded arrogance that is the hallmark of the conservative mindset. His ratings will probably stay high enough to keep him around for awhile as the average Joe Dumb American will have the usual knee jerk reaction to all of the right wing button pushing that Beck has learned to do so well at good ‘ole Conservative U, and will no doubt tune in regularly for their dose of recycled propaganda.  In fact, after watching a portion of Beck’s show (I’m not sure it’s humanly possible to endure the entire program) I’d say that he’s possibly on pace to become the most obnoxious windbag EVER in conservative windbag history.  With his empty, blank, glazed over eyes, and his pompous, right wing smirk, Beck claims that while he is a conservative, he is “not a Republican”.  Yet,  pictured above is Beck with Mr. Republican himself,  Rush “The Windbag” Limbaugh, whom he sites as a hero and major influence.  And in the portions of Beck’s show that I’ve viewed,  he relentlessly engaged in the usual conservative/Republican character assassination of Barack Obama and other key Democratic figures, in an attempt, of course, to tip the coming election to the conservative side, i.e. THE REPUBLICAN SIDE.  You see,  that’s what conservatives/ Republicans do best, they pretend to be something they’re not, while misrepresenting the facts.  The past eight years has clearly and unequivocally shown this to be true.  But good ‘ole Redneck Joe Dumb American is easy prey for someone like “Blank Eyes” Beck, who knows all too well that Redneck Joe is scared stiff of “evil liberals” who come from strange, far away places like Massachusetts and California.  Redneck Joe is ALWAYS ready and willing to believe that anyone who looks and sounds different than him is out to get his money and his freedom.  So Beck and his conservative cohorts march on,  spewing the same fear mongering propaganda that they know will scare the wits out of poor, stupid Redneck Joe.  And Mr. Redneck Joe Dumb American is always ready to listen.


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You're Just A Number

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"All the knowledge in the world is of no use to fools"
- EAGLES, Long Road Out Of Eden

If morons could fly, the skies over America would be pitch black!

The 3 lowest forms of life (in order of intelligence)

1. Bacteria
2. Rednecks
3. Republicans